Learning to Say “So What?”
I have been eating a giant salad everyday for more than a year as part of my “nutritarian” diet. Being a creature of habit, I have a certain way I like to do things. Recently, my husband jumped on board and we both have found meal prepping to be such a help maintaining this lifestyle.
It has been great having help and company to meal prep. Except for when it hasn’t been great: I have a certain way I like to do things and he has a certain way he likes to do things. And when we are looking to do things together we have to do be flexible and work as a team . . . And who wants to do that?
It takes me back to the early days of our marriage. I had a way I liked to wash dishes and he had a different way. We would argue with each other certain that our own way was the best. By experimentation, I came to find out his way was better. But that wasn’t really the point was it? Even if his way wasn’t “better” I should have just appreciated that he was washing dishes. What was the big deal anyway?
When I have been good at it - at being flexible. I have learned to say to myself “so what?”
“So what if he does things differently?”
“So what if it is ‘wrong’?”
“What is the worse that could happen?”
One time we were driving to a party at a friend’s house. We had been there before but it had been a long time. I told him to go left out of the freeway, but he insisted it was right. I reflected upon the situation in my mind. He has a terrible sense of direction, why was he arguing? I didn’t know. But what was the worse that could happen? He would drive the wrong way and we would take a few minutes longer than I expected.
No, big deal.
I took a deep breath, laid back and said, “Ok, go right.”
He shot back, “You’re going to just let me go the wrong way?!” (Ha! I love him.)
The point is, a lot of squabbling would have been avoided yesterday when we were making salads and, in my life in general, if I had just learned to say “so what?” about the situation.
It has been great having help and company to meal prep. Except for when it hasn’t been great: I have a certain way I like to do things and he has a certain way he likes to do things. And when we are looking to do things together we have to do be flexible and work as a team . . . And who wants to do that?
It takes me back to the early days of our marriage. I had a way I liked to wash dishes and he had a different way. We would argue with each other certain that our own way was the best. By experimentation, I came to find out his way was better. But that wasn’t really the point was it? Even if his way wasn’t “better” I should have just appreciated that he was washing dishes. What was the big deal anyway?
When I have been good at it - at being flexible. I have learned to say to myself “so what?”
“So what if he does things differently?”
“So what if it is ‘wrong’?”
“What is the worse that could happen?”
One time we were driving to a party at a friend’s house. We had been there before but it had been a long time. I told him to go left out of the freeway, but he insisted it was right. I reflected upon the situation in my mind. He has a terrible sense of direction, why was he arguing? I didn’t know. But what was the worse that could happen? He would drive the wrong way and we would take a few minutes longer than I expected.
No, big deal.
I took a deep breath, laid back and said, “Ok, go right.”
He shot back, “You’re going to just let me go the wrong way?!” (Ha! I love him.)
The point is, a lot of squabbling would have been avoided yesterday when we were making salads and, in my life in general, if I had just learned to say “so what?” about the situation.
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