Psalm 39:4

Psalm 39:4

Show me, LORD, my life’s end and the number of my days; let me know how fleeting my life is.

I live in California now. Not far from where I grew up. But, I spent four years living in Georgia. I did, however, get the opportunity to visit while I was living out of town. I knew that I only had a short amount of time to visit, so I would try to make the most of my time by getting together with family and old friends. I tried to make the most of my time during my visit. It was never really hard to see my loved ones because they understood that I was only around for a short time and they would make that time to be with me.

It makes me think of my relationships now. It is easy to let myself feel like I have all the time in the world. I am, and I imagine many of us are, lazy by nature. It is easy to let the days and time slip by without making time for what is most important to us unless we are intentional and focused.

After Laura was born, a friend from church named Debbie Lee brought us a home cooked meal. They were the best pork chops I had, and probably ever will, have. There were two kinds. The first were smothered with a magnificent peppery gravy. There was a side of white rice and some steamed cabbage that was also seasoned with pepper. Her use of pepper was liberal yet masterful. Then, there was a second version of pork chops. They were fried, tender, crispy, and amazing. I honestly didn’t know which I liked best.

I begged her to share her recipe with me. Come on over whenever you would like she invited. And I intended to, but, I saw her every Sunday at church and I forgot about it. A couple years passed, and I remembered and asked her if she would still show me how to make those pork chops. She said her offer still stood.

I remember being pregnant with John. We waited until he was born to find out the sex of our baby. Everyone guessed the sex but Debbie looked at me and predicted, no, prophesied, that he would be a boy. You’ll see she told me, this one is a boy. She was right, but I never got to tell her. She died before he was born.

And that is how the seasons in my life pass. Life hypnotizes me with the day to day. I believe and assume that the people around me will always be there. I ignore and procrastinate what is most important thinking, assuming, that there will be a later.

Will future me yearn for a chance to hug or listen to my husband’s voice that one last time? Will there be time to wrestle with my kids later? Can I pretend or realize that now is later. Can I try to snap some sense into myself now and try to truly appreciate the precious gift of now that I have with them?

I come again to Psalm 39:4 and pray it for myself. Show me, LORD, my life’s end and the number of my days; let me know how fleeting my life is.