Not Complaining is Not Enough
I have been working on this Complaint Free Challenge for over two months now. The goal is to go 21 days without complaining but, if I complain even once, I am back on day one. I have been thinking a lot about my approach to this challenge. Going through this challenge has reminded me of a time in my past that I struggled with my physical fitness.
When I was in the Army, physical fitness was an important part of our jobs. Periodically, we had to take a test that involved running, push-ups and sit-ups. I don't remember what I needed to do to pass, but if the standards are still the same as an 18 year old female I needed to do at least 19 push-ups in two minutes, 71 situps in two minutes, and run two miles in at least 18 minutes and 54 seconds to pass the test. And that was my goal - to pass.
Unfortunately, when I was in training, I suffered a stress fracture and was on crutches. It took a long time to even diagnose a stress fracture because I had sharp shooting pain in my right hips, shin, and both my knees. I ended up on crutches and being young, I should have recovered fast. But, when I would try to walk with the crutches I would sometimes get a sharp pain and it scared me that I would hurt myself further. I was afraid to start running again because I feared I would permanently hurt myself and never be able to pass the test. I was focused on my fear and worse-case scenarios. I needed to pass the test. But what if I didn't? I needed to heal. What if I hurt myself further?
During this same time period, I met the man who would become my husband. I remember being hurt and on crutches as I watched Lee running his 2-mile run for his PT test. He told me later that he would run as hard as he could, throw up, and keep on running. He was not just seeking to "pass." He was giving it all he had over and over again. He was not worried about whether he passed or not, he was trying to be the best, the fastest, the strongest. And he didn't always succeed because I think there were like two guys that would run faster but he was and is such an inspiration. He works hard and is not about just getting by.
As for me, being a Reservist, I was able to go home and recover but it seemed that my range of motion was hindered and running felt wrong and awkward. It was too bad because my career was severely limited because of my injury. I was not able to deploy, promote, or make the most of being an Army Journalist (which I felt was one of the best jobs in the military.) Ultimately, this hurdle impeded me from becoming the best soldier that I could be.
After, my Army days were behind me, I still found myself stubbornly turning to running - this time to lose baby weight. I remember running after having Aubrey, my second daughter. I was not able to run above a 10 minute mile for about two miles. Even at my modest pace I would see that old injury and the pain rise up again. I would find myself limping home from a run and then I would give up for a few months. The fear was real. I dreamed that one day I would be able to run fast, for me, that was to run a mile under 8 minutes. That pace would have been fast enough to get the highest points or "max" my PT test.
I asked God to heal my body. And, honestly, I don't know when it happened. But last year, when I trained for a half marathon with my husband, I ran. I ran and didn't have pain. I reached my goal of doing a 7 minute something mile and ran two miles fast enough that I would have maxed my pt test if I was still in the Army.
You know what though. I don't think that God just healed my body. He healed my mind. I was no longer worried about injuring myself. Instead, I was trying to be the best I could be. There was no failing. I was trying to be faster and better. I have heard the saying"failure is not an option" but, honestly, failure wasn't even on my radar.
Applying that type of attitude is so powerful in life. What are we aiming for? Am I trying to just get by, or, be a PT stud?
Lets apply this to my complaint free challenge. When it comes to my words, It is not enough that I seek "not to complain." It is not enough to fearfully worry "Oh no, I am going to complain" or bite my lip thinking "I don't want to start this challenge over." No, instead, I want to have thoughts like "I will be positive and encouraging with my words" or "when my kids are crying or upset I will help cheer them up" or stealing the words from Psalm 34 "I will bless the Lord at all times: his praise shall continually be in my mouth." I may not achieve "all times" but I am going to reach for it because I find that we don't accidentally reach success that is higher than we were reaching for, so, I am going to reach for the top. Failure is not an option. It simply isn't going to happen. Praise God!
When I was in the Army, physical fitness was an important part of our jobs. Periodically, we had to take a test that involved running, push-ups and sit-ups. I don't remember what I needed to do to pass, but if the standards are still the same as an 18 year old female I needed to do at least 19 push-ups in two minutes, 71 situps in two minutes, and run two miles in at least 18 minutes and 54 seconds to pass the test. And that was my goal - to pass.
Unfortunately, when I was in training, I suffered a stress fracture and was on crutches. It took a long time to even diagnose a stress fracture because I had sharp shooting pain in my right hips, shin, and both my knees. I ended up on crutches and being young, I should have recovered fast. But, when I would try to walk with the crutches I would sometimes get a sharp pain and it scared me that I would hurt myself further. I was afraid to start running again because I feared I would permanently hurt myself and never be able to pass the test. I was focused on my fear and worse-case scenarios. I needed to pass the test. But what if I didn't? I needed to heal. What if I hurt myself further?
During this same time period, I met the man who would become my husband. I remember being hurt and on crutches as I watched Lee running his 2-mile run for his PT test. He told me later that he would run as hard as he could, throw up, and keep on running. He was not just seeking to "pass." He was giving it all he had over and over again. He was not worried about whether he passed or not, he was trying to be the best, the fastest, the strongest. And he didn't always succeed because I think there were like two guys that would run faster but he was and is such an inspiration. He works hard and is not about just getting by.
As for me, being a Reservist, I was able to go home and recover but it seemed that my range of motion was hindered and running felt wrong and awkward. It was too bad because my career was severely limited because of my injury. I was not able to deploy, promote, or make the most of being an Army Journalist (which I felt was one of the best jobs in the military.) Ultimately, this hurdle impeded me from becoming the best soldier that I could be.
After, my Army days were behind me, I still found myself stubbornly turning to running - this time to lose baby weight. I remember running after having Aubrey, my second daughter. I was not able to run above a 10 minute mile for about two miles. Even at my modest pace I would see that old injury and the pain rise up again. I would find myself limping home from a run and then I would give up for a few months. The fear was real. I dreamed that one day I would be able to run fast, for me, that was to run a mile under 8 minutes. That pace would have been fast enough to get the highest points or "max" my PT test.
I asked God to heal my body. And, honestly, I don't know when it happened. But last year, when I trained for a half marathon with my husband, I ran. I ran and didn't have pain. I reached my goal of doing a 7 minute something mile and ran two miles fast enough that I would have maxed my pt test if I was still in the Army.
You know what though. I don't think that God just healed my body. He healed my mind. I was no longer worried about injuring myself. Instead, I was trying to be the best I could be. There was no failing. I was trying to be faster and better. I have heard the saying"failure is not an option" but, honestly, failure wasn't even on my radar.
Applying that type of attitude is so powerful in life. What are we aiming for? Am I trying to just get by, or, be a PT stud?
Lets apply this to my complaint free challenge. When it comes to my words, It is not enough that I seek "not to complain." It is not enough to fearfully worry "Oh no, I am going to complain" or bite my lip thinking "I don't want to start this challenge over." No, instead, I want to have thoughts like "I will be positive and encouraging with my words" or "when my kids are crying or upset I will help cheer them up" or stealing the words from Psalm 34 "I will bless the Lord at all times: his praise shall continually be in my mouth." I may not achieve "all times" but I am going to reach for it because I find that we don't accidentally reach success that is higher than we were reaching for, so, I am going to reach for the top. Failure is not an option. It simply isn't going to happen. Praise God!
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